22 7 / 2012

One of those days where the depression is so bad it feels like I’m drowning.

One of those days where all I think is how I shouldn’t have been born.

One of those days where I just want to crawl in a hole & disappear.

One of those days where I wish I was someone else.

One of those days where I wish I still cut.

One of those days where I don’t know how I’m gonna act like I’m normal.

One if those days where I wish there was someone who cared just a little more.

One of those days where I wish I were stronger & fought harder.

One of those days where I ask, “why me?”

Fuck… I’ve not had one of these days in two months.

One phone call from my mother & it goes to hell.

Gosh, I miss Astrid so much. I still love her. Damn, I wish I knew where she was.

Having depression is a real pain in the ass.

08 5 / 2012

A girl from my hometown died today because she was bullied. This utterly breaks my heart. For her, for her family, for her friends, for all those kind people who knew her. I feel like I’m gonna be sick. There is never any reason to bully someone.

I was bullied most of the time I attended middle and high school. It fucking sucked! Kids can be so cruel. Far more cruel than anyone gives them credit. And the teachers & school faculty… Well, they sure never cared about me.

This should never happen to anyone.

29 4 / 2012

Sometimes the pain hurts so bad I feel like I can’t breathe. And even though it’s not that bad… It’s really hard for my brain to recognize it. In my heart, in my mind the pain cuts deeper than a knife ever could.

26 4 / 2012

Not only is it breaking my heart in two…

It’s making me so freaking crazy. I’m saying & doing the weirdest shit. I can’t concentrate. I just sit & think about you. Then I just miss you more. I wish I could turn back the hands of time. I’m gonna have to seek some professional help if my mind doesn’t stop only working to think of you.

10 4 / 2012

Why does anyone have to die young from a senseless tragedy?

It’s so hard to make sense of these things.

12 2 / 2012

"And you hurt just to numb the pain"